You can always talk to me. Maybe I’ll be able to help, maybe not; but sometimes just “venting” helps. It seemed to me over the last few days that something was bothering you. Is it always being told what to do? My son had that problem with me when he was about your age. I was always telling him what to do and how to do it instead of letting him take the lead. After we had a talk about it I loosened up a bit and found that he usually had good ideas. The only problem he had was that he did not always considered all the facts that an older person would have.
OK, but what is your obligation?
As a child you naturally obeyed because (A) Momma and Papa knew everything, and (B) they had ways of punishing disobedience.
But the Commandments don’t say anything about that; just that you should: “Honor your mother and father as the Lord thy God has commanded you.” That kind of responsibility is too much for a little kid. Think about it. It says nothing about them being right or you getting punished. And it doesn’t end when you grow up. Your mother and I may disagree but then she makes me coffee or takes me shopping for ice cream because she knows that I like to be with her. She is busy but manages to find time for her daddy. She honors her parents.

Obeying is a very hard thing to do but it is the first opportunity to honor your parents that you as a very young adult have. I call you a very young adult because you are becoming one. That is why you are now allowed to receive Holy Communion. Unlike a child you are beginning to know that the difference between right and wrong isn’t what you can get away with. An adult has opportunities to get away with doing wrong but it remains wrong.
For example, you may want to wear a pretty dress while your father thinks you should wear something else. There are reasons that you might not think of. Among them:
He might worry that you’ll spill something on it or you’ll otherwise dirty it. You think you won’t but should you be so sure?
He might be worried that it isn’t warm. You aren’t cold at the moment so why worry, you think?
He may think that for some reason you’ll need another outfit. Gee, you hadn’t considered that.
There is often some other reason that an adult might think of but you wouldn’t.
But you probably just want to wear it without considering any of these things because you can still often act like an irresponsible child. ( I WANT! I WANT! OK from a six year old but not from an eleven year old.)
OR – Sometimes he might just be busy, or annoyed about something, and letting off frustration. You just happen to be in the way. But if so, you should try to cheer him up. That is to show love and responsibility which you won’t do by being as grumpy as he is just because you can’t have your way..
It doesn’t matter why he’s grumpy. Obedience is a way to honor you parent. But it can be very hard because to you it seems that parents are not respecting your wishes and are “treating you like a child.” That attitude is itself selfish and childish. To obey is the hardest thing in the world, yet everyone loves and respects an obedient child. No one – not even other children – likes a disobedient kid.

Priests, monks, and nuns in the Catholic church take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. They own nothing, don’t marry, and not only obey their superiors in the church, they must obey willingly and cheerfully. For them to only obey grumpily is a sin because a vow is far more serious than a simple promise. Any priest will tell you that of the three vows, obedience is by far the hardest. They are naturally resentful when ordered to do something with which they don’t agree, or which they don’t like, or which they think is unfair, or just dumb, because like you they think that they know better than their superiors – and, like you sometimes, maybe they do.
Obedience is responsibility. It is also a hard thing to do. It is a sign that you are growing and can be trusted and relied upon. A disobedient child cannot be, and is a pain in the ass.

You recall that I wrote to you that as a very young adult, honoring your mother and father did not simply mean obeying them though that is an important part. It means trying to make their lives happy. If your mom says that she does not like a certain TV program you may want to go around her to your dad. That is not honoring the person who spends most of her time making the lives of you and your Dad happy. For example, she took you to the Nutcracker ballet. Your Mom is the type of person who will try to enjoy whatever the people that she loves enjoy. That does not mean, however, that those are the things that she would choose to enjoy for herself. She cooks, she drives you to soccer and music classes, she may accompany her kids on trips that they want to make. But think for a moment of how few things she does just because she wants to. You will be thanking her for all she does by not trying to insist on what you want, just like some little kid. If she has been working all weekend; should she not have a little time to enjoy herself? Think of the things she does for us. Recently she was in my house, yet she made our lunch without even asking if she should. I was tired and she knew it. Did you even notice that she was doing my job without asking? I am aware of what she does for me; and for that matter what your father who is my son “in law” does for me. Both of them worked hard to clean up my yard, something that I can no longer do alone. They were honoring their father. You did as little as you could. Why? Working harder would have been no more work that trying to avoid work.
On another matter. Understand that to say someone is your enemy does not mean you hate him. Jesus told us that we must love our enemies. That does not mean that they are not enemies; and we must fight them, but we should not make the common mistake of thinking of them as “bad guys”. For example the USA is at a kind of war with Militant extremist Muslems. They hate everything that our country stands for. Many of them do hate us, but many others only hate what our country and our business leaders do,. Not all of them hate the American people. People who are willing to blow themselves up (suicide bombers) because they think that they are serving God by killing people who do not agree with them are certainly wrong; and what they have been taught to believe is evil. But they are not “bad guys.” Bad people do not try to serve God, much less kill themselves for Him. These are mostly idealistic teenagers like you but with little education who have been taught their whole lives that America is anti god. Of course it is not and they are wrong, but they are not bad. Not only should you love your enemies even though you have to fight them because Christ said to; but by loving them and trying to make their lives better you do good and help them. Eventually they may come to like us. Remember that after World War II the USA helped rebuild Germany and we became friends. Hating an enemy only leads to endless warfare. Tom the cat and Jerry the mouse are natural enemies, but there is never any hatred in their relationship. Do not confuse the terms enemy and hatred.

If you’ve read this far, you may be interested in in other essays
Essay on Nazis

Essay on Japan and Western Relations

Essay on Slavery

Essay on Obedience

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